Excerpt from a paper on bell hooks...

Today our Masters in Teaching graduate program embarked upon it's first day of required yoga. We were assured yesterday that there was no grading rubric for our yoga participation. I laughed at the time -- the soreness of my knees (childhood accident story here) reminds me that the lack of a rubric is probably beneficial. While yoga is so very Evergreen, I appreciate weekly time dedicated to attempts at relaxation. The lesson here is decent.

Onward!

Here's an excerpt from my recent seminar prep paper on bell hooks' Teaching Community: A Pedagogy of Hope:

Lastly, hooks handily brought up topics like self-esteem and shame. These are both topics I have recently reflected a lot on. I definitely left student teaching feeling unsettled about my “teaching” self-esteem and feeling aspects of shame in correlation to my teaching. Keenly aware that we are our own harshest critics, also a psychology undergrad and prone to what I would consider hardcore self-analysis, I have spent time thinking about “what went wrong emotionally” for me during student teaching. Lack of confidence, feeling greatly in the shadow of my amazing cooperating teacher, and even still recovering from the initial self-esteem blow Patty dealt me on her first visit with me in the field – these all haunt the back of my mind as I consider student teaching this spring. hooks justifies my feelings by first defining the fragility of self-esteem, “Without critical vigilance, shaming as a weapon of psychological terrorism can damage fragile self-esteem in ways that are irreparable. Self-esteem is not simply a concern of black folks or individuals from marginalized groups” (p. 99). Then hooks persists in inspiring yet again, “There are certainly moments in the classroom where I do not excel in the art of teaching. However, it is crucial that we challenge any feeling of shame or embarrassment that teachers who do their job well might be tempted to indulge when praising ourselves or being praised by others for excellent teaching. For when we hide our light we collude in the overall cultural devaluation of our teaching vocation” (p. xi). While this quote certainly contains deeper complexities, from my surface intake it encourages me to revel in successes of student teaching and staying steadfast in a renewed commitment to regain self-esteem and confidence for my second student teaching.

This is probably the first time I've shared personal feelings in a seminar prep paper -- it's definitely in line with the "granola" feeling of my graduate program. Yet, this is honest. Hmm.